Low Energy Activities To Do With Kids When You Have Chronic Pain

How do you parent when you struggle with chronic conditions? Plus, suggestions for those wanting to help parents with pain.

The best advice out there for people suffering from chronic pain is to eat well, sleep well, and rest well. When you are a parent with chronic pain, that can feel like an impossible balance.

This advice doesn’t consider the extra stress of waking up to tend to your children multiple times at night, cooking and cleaning for the toddler tornado in your home, or trying to explain to your child that mommy can’t play rough like daddy can during a pain flare up.

I’ve put together five ideas for parents to try with their kids when their chronic pain feels too much. These won’t work for everyone, but if you find this relevant, then you already know that life with chronic conditions means life is an experimentation. Scroll down for ways to support a loved one.

5 Low Energy Activities To Do With Kids When You Have Chronic Pain

1. Have a movie night/afternoon/morning.
   Honestly, do this whenever you can’t seem to move because you feel the invisible weight of invisible symptoms. Make a big deal out of it (the fun not the pain). Dim the lights, make popcorn, or take a muffin tin and fill it with all the random snack foods you can find. Having a frozen pizza for times like this always helps.
   
   Pick a movie that everyone loves or one that doesn’t bother you to have on in the background. You can also eat or drink from “fancy” or odd cups and plates.
   

2. Coloring Books
   Coloring can help regulate your nervous system¹ by slowing down your breathing and heart rate. Granted, coloring with a toddler does not always provide these results so proceed with caution. If you can, supply the toddler with supplies and ask them to play art teacher. Sometimes that create a good change in focus from “entertain me, mom” to “let me teach you, mom.”
   

3. Storytime
   If you’re able to head to the library or bookstore during a story hour, this is a great way to get out of the house with the purpose of sitting down during entertainment. Plus, the library is an awesome place to relax if you don’t have littles to chase.
   
   If you can’t manage to go out, create a really comfortable spot together with pillows and blankets. Maybe challenge your child to create a fort or, for the younger kids, make a bird’s nest. Have them bring you books like a mama bird brings her babies food.
   

4. Salon / Spa play
   Not everyone will like this idea but if you’re stuck at home anyways, might as well let them have fun. Get out your makeup and let them put it on you. Give them opportunities to do your hair or paint your nails (water-based polish is great for easy removal). Even wiping off the crazy look with remover and doing face washing is fun for kids because it let’s them do stuff they never can do outside of playing spa day.
   
   Bonus if you can take a shower or bath alone when it’s all said and done.
   

5. Board Games
   I recommend this for anyone who likes games. I’m a party pooper and generally don’t like them, myself. (What’s wrong with you, Chanel??)
   
   Look, when I’m hurting and fatigued, it’s hard enough to keep my patience from wearing thin and it takes a lot of energy to be present. Some games are hard. Puzzles are a good alternative to games.
   

There are a lot more things you can do but I’ve avoided certain recommendations in this list due to the prep/cleanup energy involved.

If you do have this extra energy:

• Nature walks: great for moving your legs

• Breaking out the small yard pool: Lower your body temp during heat agitation or go swimming for low impact on your body

• Painting: You can also take it outside to minimize mess

• Cooking/Baking: Keep it simple by using box mixes for treats or minimizing dishes

• Visiting a museum: you can usually find lots of benches for taking breaks

How Do I Help Support A Loved One Struggling With Chronic Pain While They Parent?

Great question. Glad I asked! Everyone’s experiences vary, but the ways you can support a struggling parent with pain are similar to the ways you can support a parent without a chronic health struggle.

1. Don’t assume people sharing their hurt and struggles are seeking advice. I see this all the time, especially when a mother (or pregnant woman) cries out to the world. Oh, you are sick? Here are a million ways to fix the problem. Unless someone asks specifically for your advice, don’t give it to them.
   

2. Be bold. If you see someone is struggling in person, give them some encouragement. If you see someone is posting continually online about their struggles, ask them for their mailing address and send them a gift card.
   
   We are all living life as the main characters but are too scared to say “look at me” because (most) adults recognize it’s not all about them. By taking the bold approach of reaching out to someone on their behalf, we help bridge the gap.

3. Be specific. If you want to offer someone help and ask them, “how can I help you?” or, “what do you need?” you will run into two problems. First, they might not know what they need. Second, you’re making it their responsibility to solve a problem.
   
   Instead, identify what is in your own capacity to help them and be specific when you give them the option. For example, you can say, “I am running to the store tomorrow at 11 am. Do you want me to pick you up one or two items?”. Or you might message them and ask if they would like you to help fold laundry while they nap with their baby.

Lastly, recognize that what once worked for them in terms of self-care might not work anymore. For example, while exercising for an hour may revitalize one person, many people with chronic pain have to make sure they aren’t overexerting themselves. Accept them wherever they are today and stay interested in what they’ve been learning about living with chronic pain.

1. Mayo Clinic