One of the things I really love about you is how you model what it looks like to honor your needs in motherhood. I see so much content featuring mothers doing all the things with their kids and I think that’s wonderful! But it’s also wonderful to sit and observe, to honor the limitations of your body and getting creative about creating a beautiful childhood and motherhood experience for you and your daughter.
I think I’m a good mom. It just takes more reliance on Gods grace than my own these days and that’s such a blessing. Thank you for reading and for the encouragement
You should add to this: we are the perfect mothers until we have children and our mothers have endlessly failed us until we have children 😅 I see my mom so differently now.
I too have a sense of loss about this summer, not knowing if my child will be able to leave the house. I hear you in the grief and pray for moments of joyful surprise in the midst our your and our limitations.
What a beautiful and emotive post! I am in the same boat with a full time job, small children to entertain everyday, and every weekend spent at the lake (which is four and a half hours driving round trip). I haven't really sat down to write since May and am the same as you where it's lucky if I grab 10 minutes to read. The lack of writing has caused the spiraling self-doubt about my ability and my future as a writer, which is great fun when you can't find the energy to escape into your fictional world.
Just know you aren't alone and things WILL slow down and you will find your way back. I look forward to reading your book one day!
Thank you for sharing your life with me here. It does help to feel less alone! I am grateful but I am exhausted. Do you write fiction or a mix of things?
I write fiction, nothing genre specific. My current WIP is a play on PPD where the main character believes her house is haunted. I want to dabble in short story non-fiction eventually and my Substack is testing the waters of my ability.
I would love to know what you write! I would guess a little poetry from your summer blurb you included (I'm rotten at poetry).
No poetry. I generally write in a personal essay style or will write fiction once a year when the mood strikes me. Substack is a great place for short fiction and I have heard of people paying to read slow releases that are put out by writers here.
I love that! My best friend is a type 1 diabetic and has gone through massive struggles in motherhood after her second kid when her sugars stopped being easy to manage, they just swing wildly. She would be the first in line for your book ❤️ please write it because it's very needed! Especially the load mothers are expected to take societally with no regard to our health and wellness.
Read this at the perfect time. I feel you. I’ve been so supremely exhausted this summer and it feels like it’s growing and looming and there isn’t an end in sight. I look forward to reading about the low energy activity post you mentioned. 🙏🏼
As a working mom of two kids who is navigating both several chronic illness diseases and mental health challenges the mom guilt in the summer time can feel suffocating... I have to rally myself dinner/ for evening activities like swim lessons with the kiddos after an 8 hour workday of marketing for a public health nonprofit. Trying to make family memories at the splashpad or lake or little roadtrips on the weekends with the small margin of energy I have. I have little pockets of reading here or there but as you wrote writing is another beat entirely that requires deep thinking focus and mental energy I'm lacking these days. I am trying to have more grace for my limitations in these season and leaning into the slow moments where we can find them amidst the daily/weekly chaos. and trying to remind myself that the magic of childhood is really being a child and we can still have magical moments together even without big/fancy/expensive trips or activites. Sending prayers for rest <3
I am not a mother but this was still a good reminder of things I have been dealing with.
I have always been a busy bee, always very active in church life, youth, women's, children's ministry. It was/is hard not to be able to do all the things I used to.
I have to remind myself it is ok to stay sitting when others get up to help.
And realising people do not love me less for doing "less". Just my presence is enough as they have told me often enough.
I helped oit at a camp last week. I wanted to do the full week, I dod 1 full day and tried 2 more mornings before I was wiped out completely. I felt guilty and a failure. But everyone else was thankful and saw the good I did in those few moments.
Those are the things I need to remind myself of daily.
God bless you in this summer of not feeling guilty amd hopefully it last passed summer ❤️
Thank you for leaving this comment, Stephanie. I pray that Jesus reminds you he is Lord of Sabbath and that Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath (Mark 2:27). I think I am in a year of learning what this means still, to rest is not just burning out in service work until you’re forced to rest. It is to continually posture our hearts to the Lord and ask Him if we are honoring our time to Him or idolizing the busy schedules we hold (yes even to church work). You are not alone in this!
You are such a beautiful writer, friend 💛 may processing this bring you peace that God knows you are the best mother for your daughter, just as you are and it’s okay to choose what’s best for you and your family in this season, even if it doesn’t look like the “should’s” we try to measure up against based on how others mother 💛
Thank you for reading and leaving me this love note. I sure hope that despite the complex emotions written in this processing that readers feel my peace is growing in the Lord through am my trials in the deepest of ways.
I see you and am so grateful for you sharing your experiences. I’m mum to a one year old who is an endless ball of energy. I also suffer with chronic pain. I returned to full time work six weeks ago and am also still trying to find/make space for my creative and writerly self around the edges of work and mum life. Although I adore being a mum and I love my job, finding balance in this new chapter is a struggle and my body is feeling it. I often worry whether I am able to give enough of myself to my son and husband and find myself needing to rest more than I would want to. It’s been hard trying to find advice and suggestions for how to navigate parenting with chronic pain so I really appreciate all you share.❤️
I’m glad I could help! I certainly need all the encouragement I can get 😅 I often have people ask me how I’m doing this and honestly I don’t know. I’m not doing it “well.” I’m hoping to find more confidence to set boundaries with others on the work I’m able to do going forward.
One of the things I really love about you is how you model what it looks like to honor your needs in motherhood. I see so much content featuring mothers doing all the things with their kids and I think that’s wonderful! But it’s also wonderful to sit and observe, to honor the limitations of your body and getting creative about creating a beautiful childhood and motherhood experience for you and your daughter.
I really really appreciate this comment
We are all the perfect mothers until we have children. Give yourself grace and know you’re doing great ❤️
I think I’m a good mom. It just takes more reliance on Gods grace than my own these days and that’s such a blessing. Thank you for reading and for the encouragement
You should add to this: we are the perfect mothers until we have children and our mothers have endlessly failed us until we have children 😅 I see my mom so differently now.
Haha, it’s so true! Always easier to judge before we go thru it
I too have a sense of loss about this summer, not knowing if my child will be able to leave the house. I hear you in the grief and pray for moments of joyful surprise in the midst our your and our limitations.
Thank you
What a beautiful and emotive post! I am in the same boat with a full time job, small children to entertain everyday, and every weekend spent at the lake (which is four and a half hours driving round trip). I haven't really sat down to write since May and am the same as you where it's lucky if I grab 10 minutes to read. The lack of writing has caused the spiraling self-doubt about my ability and my future as a writer, which is great fun when you can't find the energy to escape into your fictional world.
Just know you aren't alone and things WILL slow down and you will find your way back. I look forward to reading your book one day!
Thank you for sharing your life with me here. It does help to feel less alone! I am grateful but I am exhausted. Do you write fiction or a mix of things?
I write fiction, nothing genre specific. My current WIP is a play on PPD where the main character believes her house is haunted. I want to dabble in short story non-fiction eventually and my Substack is testing the waters of my ability.
I would love to know what you write! I would guess a little poetry from your summer blurb you included (I'm rotten at poetry).
No poetry. I generally write in a personal essay style or will write fiction once a year when the mood strikes me. Substack is a great place for short fiction and I have heard of people paying to read slow releases that are put out by writers here.
That's a great tip about short fiction on Substack! Is the book you're working on non-fiction?
Yes, it’s a memoir about faith, mental health, and chronic illness
I love that! My best friend is a type 1 diabetic and has gone through massive struggles in motherhood after her second kid when her sugars stopped being easy to manage, they just swing wildly. She would be the first in line for your book ❤️ please write it because it's very needed! Especially the load mothers are expected to take societally with no regard to our health and wellness.
Read this at the perfect time. I feel you. I’ve been so supremely exhausted this summer and it feels like it’s growing and looming and there isn’t an end in sight. I look forward to reading about the low energy activity post you mentioned. 🙏🏼
As a working mom of two kids who is navigating both several chronic illness diseases and mental health challenges the mom guilt in the summer time can feel suffocating... I have to rally myself dinner/ for evening activities like swim lessons with the kiddos after an 8 hour workday of marketing for a public health nonprofit. Trying to make family memories at the splashpad or lake or little roadtrips on the weekends with the small margin of energy I have. I have little pockets of reading here or there but as you wrote writing is another beat entirely that requires deep thinking focus and mental energy I'm lacking these days. I am trying to have more grace for my limitations in these season and leaning into the slow moments where we can find them amidst the daily/weekly chaos. and trying to remind myself that the magic of childhood is really being a child and we can still have magical moments together even without big/fancy/expensive trips or activites. Sending prayers for rest <3
I’m sending you solidarity in the stress. I feel less alone when I get comments like these ❤️
I am not a mother but this was still a good reminder of things I have been dealing with.
I have always been a busy bee, always very active in church life, youth, women's, children's ministry. It was/is hard not to be able to do all the things I used to.
I have to remind myself it is ok to stay sitting when others get up to help.
And realising people do not love me less for doing "less". Just my presence is enough as they have told me often enough.
I helped oit at a camp last week. I wanted to do the full week, I dod 1 full day and tried 2 more mornings before I was wiped out completely. I felt guilty and a failure. But everyone else was thankful and saw the good I did in those few moments.
Those are the things I need to remind myself of daily.
God bless you in this summer of not feeling guilty amd hopefully it last passed summer ❤️
Thank you for leaving this comment, Stephanie. I pray that Jesus reminds you he is Lord of Sabbath and that Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath (Mark 2:27). I think I am in a year of learning what this means still, to rest is not just burning out in service work until you’re forced to rest. It is to continually posture our hearts to the Lord and ask Him if we are honoring our time to Him or idolizing the busy schedules we hold (yes even to church work). You are not alone in this!
You are such a beautiful writer, friend 💛 may processing this bring you peace that God knows you are the best mother for your daughter, just as you are and it’s okay to choose what’s best for you and your family in this season, even if it doesn’t look like the “should’s” we try to measure up against based on how others mother 💛
Thank you for reading and leaving me this love note. I sure hope that despite the complex emotions written in this processing that readers feel my peace is growing in the Lord through am my trials in the deepest of ways.
I see you and am so grateful for you sharing your experiences. I’m mum to a one year old who is an endless ball of energy. I also suffer with chronic pain. I returned to full time work six weeks ago and am also still trying to find/make space for my creative and writerly self around the edges of work and mum life. Although I adore being a mum and I love my job, finding balance in this new chapter is a struggle and my body is feeling it. I often worry whether I am able to give enough of myself to my son and husband and find myself needing to rest more than I would want to. It’s been hard trying to find advice and suggestions for how to navigate parenting with chronic pain so I really appreciate all you share.❤️
I’m glad I could help! I certainly need all the encouragement I can get 😅 I often have people ask me how I’m doing this and honestly I don’t know. I’m not doing it “well.” I’m hoping to find more confidence to set boundaries with others on the work I’m able to do going forward.