I can relate to so much of this so deeply. Chronic fatigue and muscle pain that has evaded a diagnosis the past 3 years. MS and Fibromyalgia were also thrown around my drs office, still with the possibility of it being fibro but unable to diagnose this until I have sinus surgery that has a loooong waitlist to find out if it is my breathing causing issues, but knowing deep down it is probably all my trauma finally catching up with me. To say this, is to say I can relate, mostly. Our journeys will always be different but I saw so much of the last few years of my life played out in your post. The way our partners show up and go beyond when we can go anywhere is incredibly nourshing and simultaneously can break us that little bit more. I hope that since you wrote this, you have found something that has helped. Wether it is getting better at accepting certain parts of it, or just the extra help your husband provides, or maybe there have simply been some good days worth celebrating even in the midst of the unknown.
I hit the send button too soon. I pray your own body and mind experience healing even if it is not a whole healing. I pray you have doctors who care for you and that you have the strength to advocate for yourself. I pray others are there to pick up the load if that’s not possible.
Molly, your words are kind and thoughtful. Thank you. I have actually begun to have those prayers answered. Prayers where my pain has lessened and my acceptance is very slowly coming into being. Unfortunately that has meant the dramatic cut of dairy, gluten, and sugar from my diet. I want to write about it but I’m not sure where to start.
It makes me so happy to hear you have started to have shifts towards things getting better, even if they do look differently then expected. I hope you find lots of delicious simple low energy recipies to make along the way that support this journey
So much to say on this, Chanel, but firstly I so welcome your honesty in this piece which isn't easy. It's so hard to share our pain, and we get bored of listening to it, too. Want to tell a different story but it's not yet possible. The very fact that you are imagining your future and rejecting versions of it that you don't want for your family is powerful. Things will improve (maybe permanently), though being in the trenches with this as you are now is really tough. Sending strength and love x
I can relate to so much of this so deeply. Chronic fatigue and muscle pain that has evaded a diagnosis the past 3 years. MS and Fibromyalgia were also thrown around my drs office, still with the possibility of it being fibro but unable to diagnose this until I have sinus surgery that has a loooong waitlist to find out if it is my breathing causing issues, but knowing deep down it is probably all my trauma finally catching up with me. To say this, is to say I can relate, mostly. Our journeys will always be different but I saw so much of the last few years of my life played out in your post. The way our partners show up and go beyond when we can go anywhere is incredibly nourshing and simultaneously can break us that little bit more. I hope that since you wrote this, you have found something that has helped. Wether it is getting better at accepting certain parts of it, or just the extra help your husband provides, or maybe there have simply been some good days worth celebrating even in the midst of the unknown.
I hit the send button too soon. I pray your own body and mind experience healing even if it is not a whole healing. I pray you have doctors who care for you and that you have the strength to advocate for yourself. I pray others are there to pick up the load if that’s not possible.
Thank you so so much. Prayer has been difficult for me lately, so your words here really touched something deep in my soul
You inspired me to write more yesterday! This is a different newsletter of mine
https://open.substack.com/pub/thebibleschoolnotebook/p/when-our-hearts-and-flesh-fail-us?r=1l34q7&utm_medium=ios
ohhh yay! This makes my day that I helped to inspire you! Thank you I will check it out
Molly, your words are kind and thoughtful. Thank you. I have actually begun to have those prayers answered. Prayers where my pain has lessened and my acceptance is very slowly coming into being. Unfortunately that has meant the dramatic cut of dairy, gluten, and sugar from my diet. I want to write about it but I’m not sure where to start.
It makes me so happy to hear you have started to have shifts towards things getting better, even if they do look differently then expected. I hope you find lots of delicious simple low energy recipies to make along the way that support this journey
So much to say on this, Chanel, but firstly I so welcome your honesty in this piece which isn't easy. It's so hard to share our pain, and we get bored of listening to it, too. Want to tell a different story but it's not yet possible. The very fact that you are imagining your future and rejecting versions of it that you don't want for your family is powerful. Things will improve (maybe permanently), though being in the trenches with this as you are now is really tough. Sending strength and love x