The Lies I Tell Myself

A letter of encouragement

Has anyone else been sick all December?

In the past three weeks Eliza was in and out of daycare due to stomach bugs and cold and general sickness. Around the second week I received an email from work, reminding me that a minimum of 32 hours is required to hit full-time benefits per week. Simply put, I’m not quite where I want to be.

Everytime I drop off my crying child at daycare, I pray I can have more time with her, but everytime they call me saying she needs to be picked up early, I want to pull my hair in frustration as I leave work. As much as I love spending time with her work is also a restful and creative pursuit. I wish I could have it be both ways.

There are a jumble of sayings bottle-necked in my swollen and sick throat glands that say, “you’re not good enough,” “you can’t have it all,” “you should be able to manage your time better,” and “you should be investing more time in your kid than work.”

If I’m not careful, I’ll believe the twisted lies.

The Devil isn’t just a liar, he’s a thief of joy, asking me to put my attention on all the things I am not doing. He wants me to hustle, to be distracted, and become distant from peace.

God asks us to abide in him, resting in his Truth, his perfection, focusing on His work, and acknowledging that we don’t need to be everything because He is everything. Jesus doesn’t just bring us peace, He is peace.

Anytime we look around our messy homes or wonder if there are enough presents under the Christmas tree, consider the goodness of resting in Christ. Lay down your bitterness and hurry for gratitude and rest. Consider Galatians 5:1,

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

If we keep trying to cross off lists of things that make us “worthy” enough, then we are still living as slaves to sin, which Christ’s work already abolished.

This looks like us focusing on how we’ve had to sacrifice time with our children in order to pay the bills for them to eat, but instead of focusing on God’s provision in this season, we let a “little yeast work through a whole batch of dough.”

The negative thoughts rise and fester until it feels like we are contaminated; we stop looking at how our sacrifices lead to sanctification and instead let our lack define our worth.

Rather than letting these narratives cloud your mind today, I urge you to learn how to recognize the falsehoods in them. We learn this by recognizing what Truth looks like in scripture and seeing God’s character.

I pray you fill your cup this Christmas by emptying out your worldly desires and refilling your heart and mind with the things that align with Christ.

~ Chanel

I have been very intentional this past month about not publishing too much because I sense your inboxes are full. I know my own Substack reading list is currently less a magazine of content to explore and more like another to do list of the holidays.

I’m behind in all things but I’m allowing myself more room. I am experimenting with pruning the minutes of my day that are stuffed with tasks. I am praying to Jesus I loosen up and accept life on life’s terms.

In the coming weeks I’m working on a recap of my electromagnetic treatment for depression and anxiety. I’d love to hear more about why you signed up for Motherhood Minute because I feel a bit creatively drained and could benefit from the perspective.

Merry Christmas, friend.