Read this if you have too many lists

A quick mindset shift

A common question I get about my new position is “what are you working on?”

It’s a question we’re all used to getting in some form or another. In high school it’s “what are you learning?” and in college “what degree are you pursuing?”.

In a relationship you’ll often be asked when you’re getting married or having children. The cycle goes on forever and leaks into the next generation.

I get to a point in my day where I feel like I’ve done nothing, despite a full day of tasks. Often I end up filling out my planner just to document I have accomplished various things.

Took meds. Packed lunch. Drank water.

The crux of the problem has nothing to do with how much we’re getting done in a day. The real problem resides in how we view work.

When we find ourselves reviewing our day and stressed about the lack of results to match our physical or mental exhaustion, we are trying to place our identity in our labor.

It makes sense! Who doesn’t feel good after a day of checking off tasks? There is a surge of dopamine occurring when we get things done.

The danger is forgetting that our identity should not be placed in what we can do.

As a Christian, I believe that I will never find happiness from the fruits of my own efforts. Only the perfect work of Jesus can accomplish that and his work is already done on my behalf.

With this belief I must instead focus on surrendering my pride and resting in gratitude. The freedom of this belief is established in giving up the idea that I can be perfect enough.

Practically we can move away from the to do list and focus on the priorities.

The best way I can explain this is through my current situation at work. I’ve been tasked in a role that goes through all systems and processes in this company and to document, change, or remove them. I’m currently working on a giant book that will train all future and current employees on these procedures.

It is very easy for me to fall into the mental trap of thinking: I’m not doing enough. I need to prove I've earned this title. I don’t know what the end point looks like or what is enough in a day. I feel hopeless.

When we get trapped in this rabbit-hole of negativity we are focused on the tasks. We can shift our perspective and find freedom by moving our attention to what we want to build.

What do you want to build?

Do you want to build a specific type of life for your family?

Do you want to work to gain savings for that life?

If you are building a business, are you focused on creating regulations or cultivating a team that feels valued? Right now I continuously stop what I’m doing and ask how I can create a better work environment for this team. Then I go ask them the same question.

At home I can pause in the overwhelm of noticing I still haven’t cooked dinner all week or stocked the pantry or folded the two days worth of laundry….and I can choose to either succumb to the emotional idea that I should be perfect by now or I can find freedom knowing I’m doing the best with my energy to build a life worth living.

Thanks for being here, friends. If you like this newsletter, consider signing up for free emails or Substack app alerts for Motherhood Minute.

Coming up this month will be a guest writer series for mental health awareness!