Lessons of Motherhood & Business
Five skills in leadership to use today
A brief update on myself…I’ve been slow to type new drafts for Motherhood Minute because of the weird things going on with my body. My hands get heavy, my entire body experiences pins and needles, and last week I unexplainably fainted in the kitchen on the way back to bed.
I’ve had basic blood work done. I’ve had a growing list of possible diagnoses that won’t be narrowed down right away because it’s going to be at least 2 months until I can see a specialist. I’ve had many messages.
Mostly I am exhausted on all fronts.
In addition, our family business is about to change and grow in ways I would have never expected. This has me thinking a lot about the lessons motherhood and business teach me; a continuous ebb and flow of transferable skills.
Here are five things I have learned in business and motherhood that help strengthen me as a leader.
Motherhood makes me a more empathetic boss / coworker.
When my marriage, parenting, and work are so tightly influencing each other, I become more aware of my role in each realm. For example, a business disagreement with my husband can affect my ability to focus on work which can hinder my ability to be a peaceful presence with my daughter.
Similarly, a structured morning at home that helps each family member feel cared for and contributing will lead to us having a work environment that reflects that energy.
I see this when I took time to create a morning routine that helped our family and was able to apply those concepts of gratitude and “getting on the same page” about the daily calendar during our team meetings.
When I became a mother, I was still me but there was an undeniable shift in how I processed things. Am I still selfish? Yes. BUT I can see how God has made me considerate for the potential needs of others in ways I didn’t work at before parenthood.
Business leadership teaches me better communication.
When you are training a new staff member or stepping into a promotion role at work, you will find the need for new skills in communication. Work environments often focus more on the checklist of job responsibilities needed for an advanced position but lack the training that is needed to manage and lead.1
One major example that conveys this skill is knowing how to ask better questions. Which question points to a leader that encourages conversation over dominance?
“Do you have any questions?”
“What questions do you have?”
The first question will mostly lead to a “yes” or “no” reply. It is not allowing room for differing opinions or time to process information outside of memorization.
The second question invites opportunity to pause, digest, and be curious.
What does this lesson teach me about parenting? From the time of the toddler and onward we will have our children asking us more questions than we can seemingly handle. With our partners we also have to adapt how we communicate our expectations more than we did before children.
If you can understand the difference in how you ask follow up questions at work and home, you will help create an environment that encourages growth and curiosity.
It’s ok to not know the solution.
In my experience as a business owner, I have found success in acknowledging that I don’t know the answer to something asked of me only if I follow up with “let me look into this and get back to you.”
There is nothing weak about not having a solution.
I would argue that your leadership in the workforce and at home as a partner and parent will be respected more if you can lay down your pride and then work together with the other party to find a solution. Once again, women can change the world of leadership values by adding more compassion into their environments at work and at home.
A second part to this, which we will count as reason number four:
Don’t let pride hold you back from growth.
Don’t let pride get in the way of asking others for help, for perspective, and for tools to save time.
Why perspective? At work, asking someone for more of their perspective is going to open the door to a conversation that may show their thought process, their subject understanding, and the methods by which they learn best.
In parenthood, we can ask other mothers and fathers for their perspective on certain subjects. If you can go into a conversation, for example, about childcare options with the initial clarification you are curious about their perspective (and not asking what to do), you may gain creative solutions easier.
We can work smarter, not harder, at work and home by asking for tools and methods that may have worked for others. Staying open and taking the helm of a researcher in life is going to make you a stronger communicator.
Find a community; add boundaries
A final note that easily builds off our last lesson is to find a community and know exactly what you want to do with it.
Every relationship should have boundaries. I believe friendships in adulthood can become difficult for many of us because they differ so much from our childhood friendships, (which can be very BFF, die-hard loyalty, 24/7 communication only types.)
As we mature we learn that there are different friends and communities for different seasons or aspects of our lives. This might look like a mom friend you tell everything to on a daily basis, a friend you only have at work, a friend that you’ve know many years that you occasionally check in on, or a friend that you share a lot with but never about marriage/work/etc.
In all of these relationships, it is beneficial to know what kind of boundaries you desire to keep in them.
For example, even though my family and business are intertwined on a deeper level than the majority of people, I have a boundary in place that doesn’t allow for relationship conversations to happen at work. My husband is also my partner in business but we will privately text each other that we want to talk about something after work. We rarely will have that confrontation on the property (and the two times that has happened resulted in a lot of shame and having to work through that afterwards).
On social media, I choose to leave some things off the table. With certain online mother groups, I learned very early on they were not the place to seek advice or sympathy without feeling misunderstood and hurt.
We can be proactive by taking a mental audit of our friendships and communities to make sure boundaries are clear for us. And don’t feel like you’ll suddenly need to announce to someone that boundaries are in place! As my friend likes to encourage; we can create boundaries as we go.
What questions do you have about this topic? What lessons would you add?
Let me know what has resonated below or reply to this email hello@chanelriggle.com