Hello + Mom Mental Health Giveaway
Details on how to enter and win this mom mental health bundle before August 16
I’ve been asked many questions lately on how I’m doing. How has it been with your husband gone for four months? With your three-year-old? With your health? With your work?
I often wonder how honestly I should answer.
This internal negotiation has been at the forefront of my life for the past four years.
When I had a difficult pregnancy in the midst of the 2020 pandemic, everyone else was also having a difficult time. I’m sure you were right there too. On one hand, it felt like a relief to know we were in the thick of it together. On the other hand, I often wanted to shut down and remain quiet in a sea of internet void-screaming.
This brings me to this week, which involved a series of events that had me sharing vulnerably or crying because I had to remain quiet.
After a week on vacation, I found myself publicly crying on the plane ride home while grappling my daughter in our last-row seats next to a stranger. It has been a week of car therapy sessions or parking lot breakdowns. (Why must I break down in tears for my daughter to finally surrender the battle of wills??)
In the moments I cannot cry, I am trying to hold it together so my daughter has my full assistance in regulating herself. Or I simply have no time to be alone. When I finally schedule a 5-60 minute breakdown, the tears pour out of me fast and ugly; like a summer thunderstorm, they pour out, and it’s back to usual.
Are we allowed to feel complexity?
Every day has been hard, but I still have joy in my life.
When I wake up in the mornings with the sensation there are blisters on my face, I may be internally crying, but I am crying out in the direction of Christ. I don’t say this to convey, “Oh, look what I can do,” but to affirm I cannot do it unless I have a greater hope. I’m desperately thankful I have a God who chose to suffer in ways we suffer.
What else can be done?
How can we help those who are struggling, including ourselves? Whether it be depression, grief, or health-related, all human suffering brings the desire for connection.
We can offer safe spaces for big feelings while protecting our own space. This might look like telling people, “You can text me anytime of the day or night. My phone will be on do not disturb or I might not get to it right away, but you always have that option without wondering if I’ll be bothered.”
We can figure out who to talk to about particular things. Not everyone needs to know and not everyone can be there for you. I will share a lot with my therapist that doesn’t get shared to my husband, parents, or friends.
Get acquainted with resources and tools. Life is a big experiment, and its seasons don’t align with a calendar. In one season, you may need a support group, and in another season you may have the means to afford more help or tools. Keeping a list of books, podcasts, support groups, counselors, etc, can help you feel more prepared when you need them. (Yes, feel all the grief that life is hard but also know that we have to be responsible for our healing.)
Speaking of resources and tools…
Today, I want to offer you a gift and a giveaway. A chance to feel seen, supported, and understood in your own journey.
You can temporarily get your general admissions ticket to the virtual conference for $5 off (which brings it to $20 USD) by using the code SUBSTACK5 at checkout. This ends with the giveaway at midnight August 16, 2024.
I'm thrilled to announce a special giveaway for our upcoming 2024 Mental Health and Motherhood Virtual Conference. One lucky winner will receive:
A free copy of "RATTLED: How to Calm New Mom Anxiety with the Power of the Postpartum Brain" by Dr. Nicole Amoyal Pensak. This book, recommended by one of our amazing speakers,
, is a fantastic resource.A pair of LOOP Engage 2 earplugs. These aren't just any earplugs – they're designed to filter noise while allowing you to hear conversations clearly. Perfect for those moments when you need a little calm in the chaos of parenting.
A free general admission ticket to our virtual conference on October 11, 2024. Can't make it live? No worries! You'll have access to all the recordings to watch on your own schedule.
You have a chance to win this giveaway until August 16th. Please share this on Substack as well! The winner must be in the United States due to shipping costs.
You can get points by sharing your virtual conference order number, reposting a video I’ve made about the event, and doing daily check-ins on the conference website.
I hope you are facing your battles with the help of God and knowing that you are truly never alone. Please feel free to grieve or vent in the comments if you need that space today.
In Case You Missed It:
Announcing the Virtual Conference Website!
I am so excited to announce the launch of the official website for the Mental Health and Motherhood Virtual Conference! I’ve been hard at work with the help of our volunteers (especially Heidi Fiedler and Emma Del Rey for their feedback) to provide you with all the details you need to make the most of this virtual event.
Holding Space For Our Inner Child with Kaitlyn Topolweski
Ready for more discussion on mental health and motherhood?
This line: "When I finally schedule a 5-60 minute breakdown..." YES! That was absolutely my experience with PPD and have those moments still today. However when I found I was suppressing that crying jag because I had two small children and I was alone with my husband at work for days, my body would eventually shut down until I allowed the space for the big emotion. So even if you feel bad or awkward or self-conscious or whatever about crying, know it is a better alternative than suppression that leads to physical damage.
My mom also gave me wise words when I was worried about my then 3 year old seeing me breakdown all the time. She said: "When I had your brother and you were 5-6, do you remember now how sad I was?" And I couldn't, I remembered a lot of good things. Kids that age recall excitement and joy, like the Midwest rain moment you captured. So give yourself the space to feel the emotion.
Looking forward to being part of this incredible conference, Chanel!